Friday, September 19, 2008

be very quiet, we/re hunting mouses

it/s 11:00 last night and i/m outside smoking before bed when i hear tracy gently tapping her fingertips on the sliding door. i turned and she pulled it open, and the conversation went like this:

tracy: there/s a mouse in a box in my bedroom.

me: what?!?!?

tracy: i got a mouse in a box in my bedroom.

me: (as i/m setting down my book and putting out the cigarette): what?!?!?!

tracy: i caught a mouse. it/s in a box. in my bedroom.

me: (as we/re getting to her bedroom and there is indeed a mouse in a box): how?

tracy: what do you mean, how?

me: how did you catch it?

tracy: what do you mean how? i caught it with the box.

me: didn/t it run?

tracy: oh, it ran. i ran faster. (this accompanied by tracy picking up a different box, and running hunchbacked across her room to demostrate how she caught the mouse) what do we do now?

me: how should i know? i/ll call mom.

tracy: it/s late

me: oh well.

phone: ring ring

mom: hello

me: there/s a mouse in a box in tracy/s bedroom

mom: what?!?!?!?

me: there/s a mouse in a box in tracy/s bedroom

mom: tracy caught a mouse?

me: yes, with a box. it/s in her bedroom. what do we do next?

mom: what kind of box?

me: it/s a clear tupperware box. we need something stiff. hold on, i think i have a folder in my room.

tracy: my CAT scans!!! of my guts!!!

me: oh yeh, those will work.

carpet (getting CAT scans slid over it)/box (getting CAT scans slid under it): shuffle shuffle shuffle.

mouse (as CAT scans invade floorspace): squeak squeak squeak squeak

me: now what?

mom and tracy: now you/we have to get it turned over

tracy (spying her pink kitchen trash can she uses as a dirty clothes hamper): this is deep, it can/t climb out of this.

me (to mom): can a mouse climb a smooth plastic surface?

trash can/laundry hamper getting smashed down on top of clear tupperware box: qqqrrrish

me: uh oh. now we can/t get it up

tracy: uh oh, why did i do that? now we can/t get it up.

mom: can it go in your car?

me: we/ve got it mom. i/ll talk to you tomorrow.

tracy: let/s just drag it outside and let it go.

me: okay.

so, at midnight last night, i held the CAT scans and tracy held the trash can/laundry basket down, and we scooted it out her bedroom, past the kitchen, through the family room, out the front door, down the back sidewalk, then bravely (OH SO BRAVELY) picked the trashcan/laundry basket-clear tupperware box-CAT scan-mouse entourage up and carried it out as far towards the water as we felt comfortable going (neither of us wanted to be alligator midnight snack to save a stupid mouse) and let it go.

we/re just ignoring the fact that we know the entire grounds around our apartment got baited by the orkin man yesterday, and pretending the mouse lived happily ever after.


Valarie said...

Man, it's good to know that if I needed her, Tracy is on MY team. Know what I mean?? She so braaaave!

Tracy B. said...

i'm a beast!

Mrs. Blimes said...

this mouse met a much better fate than the last one i saw pics of!

michelle said...

You trapped the mouse with a CAT scan! Get it "CAT" ha, ha, ha!

Valarie said...

haha....that's funny Michelle!