Tuesday, August 5, 2008

can you live w/o knowing this???

so. i/m trying to think of something to write about and i think i/m full of useless information, so how about if i/m sharing it all with you. but when i get to trying to write it all, it turns out i/m not so full of useless information to be able to pull it out of my brain on demand. if someone says something about something my useless tidbits spew from my mouth like so much air, but demanding it has proven fruitless. so i googled 'useless stuff' and figured that would work just as well. as i was reading i began to wonder who does the experiments or tests their ideas or even comes up with the ideas in the first place to know some of this stuff i found online???
for example, i learned that a duck’s quack doesn’t echo. who wakes up in the morning and thinks ‘today i/m going to figure out what animal noises don/t echo’??? i learned that porcupines float. and again i/m asking myself, who wakes up thinking ‘let’s throw a bunch of animals in the water and see what floats and what sinks’??? a snail can sleep for three years. did someone drug the poor guy to get him to sleep that long??? does he die when he hits the 1096th day??? an ant will always fall to its right side when its intoxicated. AN ANT WILL ALWAYS FALL TO ITS RIGHT SIDE WHEN INTOXICATED??? seriously, we/re back to who in the world decides to get insects drunk and then study the way they stagger??? polar bears are left handed. so when they/re writing out the check to pay for the electric bill. . . and better make sure there’s plenty of left-handed scissors in the arctic for arts & craft days for the young’ns. the stairwells in a fire station are circular so the horses that pulled the trucks back in the day couldn’t use them. (that one at least makes sense) nutmeg is poisonous if injected intravenously. and my favorite useless fact i learned - an average of 100 people a year choke on ball point pens. so i guess we better stick with keyboards. . .

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